Kluth, why do you waste your time with this? You seem like a pretty reasonable guy, but this borders on pathetic. Did you lose a ton of stock money with Apple in the mid-80's? No insult intended, but this is pretty obsessive, no?

Nobody's making you read it.

Nobody's flawless.... just look at me

You could have lost Apple stock in the mid-'90s too! Their survival was nowhere near certain at one point.

But right now it's on a fricking tear. We only have 15 shares - our gambling money - but they went from 135 to 200 to 90 to almost 250 now.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't blown away by the iPad when I tried it in the Apple Store. But the first 30" monitor and the first iPhone weren't enough to entice me either, and now they're my favorite toys.

"But the first 30" monitor and the first iPhone weren't enough to entice me either, and now they're my favorite toys."

See? I told you! 1600 horizontals kick ass. Sooner or later you'll wise up politically as well.

2560 horizontals kicks even more beaudacious ass.

2048 is my ocular sweet spot.

Ohh... so you like it sideway.... I see Always though there is something twisted about you.

But something's making you post it

Update: The stock has re-opened for trading; AAPL is now up $17.41, or 7.1%, to $262. That gives the company a market cap of about $238 billion.

Update 2: Here are some key tidbits from the post-earnings analyst call:

CFO Peter Oppenheimer says the company was “thrilled” with the results.
Revenue was up 49% from a year ago, with iPhone more than doubling, and Mac sales strong.
Net income was up 90% from a year ago.
Mac sales were a record for a March quarter. Strong double-digit growth in both desktop and portable segments. There is 3-4 weeks of Mac channel inventories.
iPod sales driven by Touch - Touch units were up 63% year over year. 12% growth in iPod revenue growth, strongest in late 2 years.
$1.1 billion in iTunes store revenue in the quarter. Over 12 million songs. Over 10 billion songs sold market crossed in February.
Ended the quarter in 4-6 weeks of iPod inventory.
On iPhone, had best quarter ever. 131% year over year growth. More 3x IDC estimate of smart phone growth in the quarter. ASP was about $600 for the iPhone. Now have distribution with 151 carriers in 88 countries.
iPhone OS 4 response from developers has been strong.
On iPad, the company is “pleased” with results so far. On track for 3G ship on April 30. Both versions in nine more countries at end of May.
$1.68 billion revenue from Apple stores in the quarter. Now 286 stores. There was $5.9 million revenue per store, up from $5.5 million a year ago. On track for 40-50 new stores in FY 2010.
41.7% gross margin was 270 basis points above guidance. Stronger product mix helped, as well as lower costs, and fixed-cost leverage from higher revenue.
24% tax rate in the March quarter was lower than expected.
Cash was up $1.9 billion from the previous quarter. They continue to focus on preservation of capital, with focus on short-dated high quality investments.
For the June quarter, they expect gross margin to be 36%. A quarter of that is from first quarter of iPad sales. They have been aggressive on pricing. Expect rest of margin decline to be due roughly equally from a stronger dollar; the Mac portable transition; the start of education buying season; and a future product transition. (New iPhones, maybe?)